Good morning!

In the era before iPhones and launch angles, The New Yorker published a cartoon of an angry cleric yelling at the umpire, “Thou hast eyes but cannot see!”

On a local level, Deerfield Academy coach Red Ball liked to approach umps and say, “Wanna borrow my glasses? You’re missing a pretty good game.”

All that fun stuff and passion will end if MLB allows technology to perfect an imperfect game.

This spring pitchers, batters and catchers could challenge pitch calls. If a batter thought a called strike was outside, he’d tap his helmet and everyone would look at the big board to see if the pitch had missed the strike zone.

Fans were ho-hum about it, but let’s see what happens if and when they use it for real next season.

The folks who run Roger Dean Stadium in Jupiter call it “America’s Busiest Ballpark” but there’s more geckos than fans crawling around whenever the Miami Marlins play, and a $35 ticket cost $20 from Vinny the Scalper.

The Yale Glee Club sang the national anthem and the vendor behind the visitors dugout hawked ale and pitched peanuts. “These are Jimmy Carter peanuts!” he roared. “They’re delicious!”

Your Daily Puzzles

Cross|Word

Flipart

Typeshift

SpellTower

Really Bad Chess

The wind was blowing out and storm clouds threatened, but the rain held off and the Nats and Marlins combined to hit four home runs in the first four innings — not the parabolic sort from when Williams, Killebrew and Howard roamed the earth, but line drives that stayed close to the ground and left in a hurry.

In the top of the fifth inning, Washington DH Josh Bell hit a pop fly that went straight up the proverbial elevator shaft. Four infielders converged near the mound where first baseman Matt Mervis called for it, but the wind grabbed ahold and the ball landed on the grass and Mervis landed on his back.

“Nice hit!” I yelled.

In the bottom of the inning a kid in his late teens sauntered over with a plastic bag filled with baseballs and stood on the concourse below me. He was a scavenger seeking to add to his collection and the opportunity came when Griff Conine grounded to first baseman Nathaniel Lowe who stepped on the bag and trotted to the dugout.

The kid held his glove high but Lowe tossed it to a woman who was standing in the last row of box seats. She caught it with her bare hands and screamed, jumped up and down and gave it to her young son who looked puzzled about why mommy was so happy.

That’s baseball, Suzyn.

I left shortly afterward and walked to my car which was parked on a side street in a residential community called Abacoa. Years ago fans could park for free in the parking garage next to the stadium, now it cost $15.

The posted speed limit was 25 mph, and as soon as I pulled onto the street a Jupiter cop came up behind me. I drive a Subaru Legacy with Massachusetts plates but had a new Trump/Vance bumper under the plate and the cop backed off. So did a lot of cars during my travels, come to think of it.

A few miles south, CACTI Park of the Palm Beaches opened in 2017 and still has that new stadium feel to it. The Houston Astros own it and share it with the Washington Nationals.

The 9,000-seat stadium and its adjoining baseball diamonds are surrounded by chain link fences and 35-foot high screens. The practice fields are kept green by water from man-made retention ponds where I once saw an alligator snatch a duck off the surface.

It’s west of the city in a low-income housing area surrounded by busy streets. Most fans pay to park on stadium property, but I left my car in a strip mall less than a half-mile from the turnstiles.

The shopping center includes a pawn shop, liquor store, DUI office and hair salon anchored by an international supermarket called Foodtown. Inside, 50-pound bags of rice stacked on pallets extend down both sides of an aisle, goat legs and whole carp are on ice, sugar cane stalks cost $2.49 each, coconut meat on the half shell is $3.49 and football-sized cacao fruit is $6.99 a pound.

Outside, an employee named Juan was using a grabber to pick trash off the parking lot pavement. “You used to be able to walk on the trash here,” he said.

At Roger Dean the PA announcer would read endless reams of ad copy, but music by Herb Albert, Tom Jones and John Mellencamp wafted out of Cacti Park’s sound system, and the organist played classics like Mack the Knife and of course, the national anthem.

Each winter singers audition to perform the Star Spangled Banner, and while most sing it like it’s an ode to their dying dog, my friend Paul White and I watched a guy dressed in white robes stand at home plate and finish it in less than a minute.

“Bravo!” I applauded.

“Broad stars and bright stripes?” asked Paul.

“Nobody’s perfect,” I said.

CACTI Park is an example of how a privately run stadium has it over a county-owned ballpark like Roger Dean. Tickets and concession prices are cheaper, promotions include bobblehead giveaways and $10 tickets for seniors on Wednesdays.

At an information booth sponsored by the Cleveland Clinic, a staffer gave me a No. 2 pencil for my scorecard, put a designated driver band on my wrist and gave me a coupon good for a soda or bottled water.

“No beer,” she said.

Suncreen dispensers are everywhere, the bathrooms are clean, garbage gets picked up promptly and kids get their photos taken with the Racing Presidents — George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln and Teddy Roosevelt.

An usher named Richard saw my scorecard. “You know baseball math?” he asked.

“What’s that?”

“Six-four-three equals two.”

“So does 3-6-3 and 5-4-3,” I said.

He smiled and said he’d moved to Florida from the Bronx 20 years ago.

“You like it down here?” I asked.

“It took a while,” he said. “Life moves slow down here.”

He’s right. It was time to get back in the fast lane.

SQUIBBERS: UMass football coach Joe Harasymiak kicked three players out of practice one day this week for fighting. Afterward he gathered the team together and said, football style, “Three fights, three flags. Nobody’s above the program.” At Rutgers where he coached last season, the Scarlet Knights had the fifth fewest penalties in the FBS. UMass? Don’t ask. … St. John’s forward Zuby Ejiofo had three words for how it felt losing to Arkansas: “Obviously, it sucks.” … RJ Luis probably wished he’d stayed at UMass after his miserable 3-for-20 performance versus the Razorbacks. “Luis cashed out,” said Mike Francesa. “It broke him, and the Arkansas players saw it in his face.” … Even John Calipari’s detractors had to be touched when the camera showed his grown daughter crying. It’s been a tough few years for Coach Cal, and Arkansas ain’t exactly Palm Springs. … The UConn women’s basketball team’s 103-34 win against Arkansas State underscores the argument that too many teams make the postseason tournament. … On October 30, 1974, I was at the Springfield Civic Center with Donny DiRusso watching Ali beat Foreman. DiRusso owned the Valley Lounge in Sunderland, which is now the Goten. “Four to one” was all he kept saying, referring to the odds we missed by not betting on Ali. … Scouting report: Keep an eye on James Wood, a 6-7, 234-pound outfielder for the Nationals who batted .283 with four home runs and four doubles this spring. … Garrett Crochet might be the next Randy Johnson but Kyle Teel could be the next Carlton Fisk. Teel batted .316 with two home runs and a .684 slugging percentage for the White Sox this spring. … FanDuel lists Crochet at 7-to-2 to win the Cy Young; Teel is 55-to-1 to win Rookie of the Year. … The UMass baseball team edged closer to .500 with a 6-3 win against Albany on Wednesday. The Minutemen host URI today at 1 p.m. and tomorrow at noon, and Harvard at 3 p.m. on Tuesday. That game will be a homecoming of sorts for Crimson coach Bill Decker who grew up in Franklin County. … Memo to Cam Ward: You won’t see me in that cafe of yours, I’m allergic to cats.

Chip Ainsworth is an award-winning columnist who has penned his observations about sports for decades in the Pioneer Valley. He can be reached at chipjet715@icloud.com.