These past weeks since Nov. 3 feel like a period of suspended animation. As if we fell into a deep crevasse inside a glacier, we are caught between up and down, able to see light glow through the ice but unable to get a purchase to climb up and out. Each time a shaft of light illuminates a path, another bizarre attempt to overthrow the election causes slippage back into the cold, narrow place we have landed.
Thankfully, the day after election day our son, deeply experienced with elections, having been part of the team that turned Nevada from red to blue for Obama in 2008, called us with the results of his nearly all-night calculations and tracking. He predicted Michigan, Pennsylvania and Nevada for Biden and thought there was a chance for Georgia.
We wanted to believe him; we truly did. He also urged us to focus on the fact that Biden already had more votes than any other presidential contender in history. His confidence was comforting; it was offset by the dawning, alarming realization of how many people had voted the other way.
My first desire after the election was to leap into action, thinking of ways to advocate for, support and help implement the vast needs crying out for attention to the pandemic, the economy and the climate. Instead, all I’ve been able to do is watch in a horrified hush as this president pulls out all the stops, creating a deranged cacophony of illicit maneuvers that assault the mind and offend even the most basic premises of civil law.
One by one those attempts to fell our democracy have been stymied, even at the Supreme Court. All pretensions have been stripped away by the spurious arguments offered and rebuffed in court and the outrageous lies spread unimpeded out of court. Even a few of the enablers in Congress have begun to step away from the stench; but the threat to continue disruption is brandished like a hot torch in front of the cowering Republicans.
Over these weeks a few moments of clarity have shone through the chilling uncertainty. One of our yoga teachers presented the Yamas and Niyamas for our consideration: nonviolence, truthfulness, non-stealing, non-excess, non-possessiveness, purity, contentment, self-discipline, self-study, surrender.
As I listened to the list I was struck by how these ethical practices are precisely the opposite of what we have been witnessing in this presidency: every single premise has been abused, broken or sullied.
The seven deadly sins comprise another list that has been fully realized by this administration: pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath and sloth.
During a service for our Unitarian church, something our minister said gave me a sudden insight into the deep distress that some of the current president’s supporters must be feeling as they realize they have been had. I do not have empathy for those who carry weapons and threaten fellow citizens in the name of a bigot and would-be tyrant, but I have compassion for those who have lost so much by believing in the lies and twisted rationales dumped on the country during this long four years.
I have also reached out to people who have the power to make a profound change in our country over the next two years — the voters of Georgia, the state where I spent most of my childhood. I’ve written post cards and letters to potential or infrequent voters urging them to register and vote. The amazing organization of this effort (more than 75,000 messages have been sent by volunteers in Western Massachusetts) has been another moment of light, helping to melt the frigid uncertainty.
And there has been the turning of the seasons from fall and fullest dark to winter and the special star of conjunction by Saturn and Jupiter, a once-in-800-years phenomena. Like the shepherds, though confused and wary, we are compelled to move forward through the night toward the light.
After a year when we couldn’t tell if we are coming or going, we can’t wait to see this year behind us in the rear view mirror. But like an aggressive set of headlights too close for comfort, this year’s lessons are forgotten at our peril. With 2020 hindsight, we set our new course.
Judy Wagner, a resident of Northfield, is not usually a big fan of New Year’s Eve but this year she planned to celebrate from first light far into the last night of 2020.