I always look forward to Jan. 1. It’s the day I take down last year’s calendar from my kitchen cupboard and put up the new one.
Unlike the younger generation who organizes their lives on cell phones, I organize my life on my calendar. It tells me what I need to do each day and holds the schedule for important dates throughout the year. I look at it first thing every morning to be reminded of what needs to be done that day — what meeting, what appointment, who’s coming, who to call, what card I need to send. Everything goes on that calendar.
The calendar I take down is a hard copy of my past year’s life. (I wonder if the cell phone can save all those details.) Yes, I look forward to Jan. 1. I look forward to sitting down with the old calendar and reliving the events from the past year, the people and happenings to add to my storehouse of memories. I always pick a calendar that has big squares, and the square from every day always had something written on it.
First of all, before I put up the new calendar, I write in all the birthdays and anniversaries I need to remember, and a few days ahead of those special dates, I insert a reminder to mail the card. I also get out the little appointment cards doctors and dentists have given us so I can write in the upcoming medical appointments. This year, we received a “Save the Date” card for a June wedding, so that will be added. Then I take down the old calendar and look forward to a few hours of reminiscing about the year past.
The 2020 calendar did not offer the usual experience. January and February started off well — our usual annual physicals, my mammogram, Gerry’s cardiology appointment, our dentist appointments, Monique’s for a haircut, niece Beth’s concert, diaconate meeting, historical society meeting, visit to the art museum, several birthday cards to send, several guests for supper, out to eat with friends, visits to family, visits to friend’s homes, special calls or correspondence, on and on. Good memories about good times and good people in our lives. Those months reminded us of what “normal” life was like.
Then we got to March and the fear of a suddenly changing world started to fill our lives. COVID 19. In fact, Gerry filled the last half of the month with a red marker to show the tragedy of it all. I’d forgotten he did that.
The rest of the year began to take on the new “normal” look. The calendar showed that we had some outside “distancing” visitors in the summer, no inside ones. Our church services were conducted outside with Pastor Stephanie preaching from the front of the church to parishioners seated apart on the common or in their parked cars, everyone masked.
Technology became more important than ever. The calendar showed the dates of our Zoom family gathering, and weekly Bible study meetings on Zoom, even a funeral on Zoom. Our medical visits were Telemed ones. Most squares on the calendar were empty, and ones that showed a previously scheduled upcoming event had lines through them because they were canceled. The calendar that ran my life was only useful to check birthday dates, and I realized a few of them were forgotten because I had gotten out of the habit of checking every day.
I felt depressed as I reviewed the calendar. It was a reminder of how life had changed. The lack of personal contact hurt more than ever.
On top of it all, I received a black snowflake in the Christmas card from a friend who always cuts out tiny intricate snowflakes to insert in her card. When I see her envelope in the mail, I always open it carefully with excited anticipation to see the delicate designs of the season. What a shock to see a bold black one with a note to tear it up, burn it, dispose of it on Dec. 31 – a good riddance to a black year!
I realized that the only things that remained the same were the birthday and anniversary dates. We all did get a year older and were married a year longer. Then, as I thought about it all, I reprimanded myself for being so negative and told myself that I had a lot of extra time to think about life.
One thing that never helps us in life is to feel sorry for ourselves. I need to think about ways we can grow from the 2020 experience, and one thing that makes us feel better about any situation is to think about what we are thankful for..
Gratitude, an attitude of gratitude. We need to think about all the creative, brilliant, caring, and hardworking people who helped keep the world functioning through the crisis — online became an answer to so many situations. “Virtual” became the new word in every household — teaching, learning, business, social work, therapy, workouts, meetings, gatherings, weddings, funerals, buying, selling.
What a lot of effort that took! It was done by people who didn’t give up, people who found new ways to go on living and helping others to live. And the Front Line people – all the nurses, doctors, fire fighters, ambulance drivers, police — people whose jobs made them face danger, but they cared and carried on. People with essential jobs who kept working to provide us with our basic needs.
And the scientists who studied, experimented, and worked tirelessly to develop a vaccine that can give us promise to overcome the threats of the virus. I commend all those people and also the people who carried out the procedures to protect themselves and others.
I always throw away the old calendar after I review it. This year I’m considering keeping it. I think it’s a year I grew stronger, wiser, and more loving and appreciative of everyone in my life.
Carole J. Gariepy, author of “In Isolation,” lives in Phillipston.