Move over, July Fourth! You’ve had your turn, once again, actually for the two hundred and fiftieth consecutive year. The calendar says it’s time to move on, and I concur. Whatever your family, community, neighborhood, and town have done to acknowledge that date and this somewhat special occasion (more for some than others), there are other significant dates, people, and events to recognize and it is to them (and to you, of course!) that I direct my comments today.
Life is made more sacred because we humans have the capacity and awareness to celebrate ourselves and others as rites and rituals of passage throughout the course of our lives. How, what, and why we honor these dates is a matter of cultural preference as well as individual taste. We all have our daily challenges, conflicts, awkward moments, and frustrations. All are normal, natural, and part and parcel of the human condition.
Yet, we also have the inborn potential to experience joy, achievement, and benchmarks along the way. And, both to differentiate these golden moments and to appreciate their occurrence, we celebrate. Moments of celebration can be incredibly liberating, as though something completed is a form of liberation. In those moments, we are freed from the burdens of waiting, hoping, sweating it out, and simply not knowing. In celebrating, we let go of all pent-up anxieties to acknowledge something special has been done, or that someone special has mastered and finalized an aspect of their lives.
Over time, people have built rituals and rites of passage. These enable us to remember that in order to complete something, it takes time, energy, sustained effort, dedication, resiliency, resources, intention, and focus of attention. The happiness that emanates from celebration is in part based on our awareness of the enormity of the combined forces in play that get us “over the line.” Often, these rituals involve and include food, music, dance, customized clothing, written messaging, applause, and appreciation. Any, some, or all of this allows the celebrant to acknowledge the specialness of the moment, often with family, friends, loved ones, and significant colleagues and/or other constituents.
Many celebrations are outward facing and engage our extraverted selves. It is equally true that we can and do celebrate inwardly and intimately — sometimes on our own. This is no less meaningful and poignant. In the quiet and dark of night, we may feel a unique rush of adrenaline, of delight, of an inward knowing that a life moment has transpired for either someone we truly care for or for ourselves. Celebrations are life- and relationship-affirming, and offer those involved an invitation to connect with others to share in joy and happiness. We hope that in those moments, other more challenging emotions are suspended, delayed, and ignored.
When we celebrate, the idea is to do what it takes to be front and central in expounding the range and rush of positivity. If it’s not tied directly to us, a celebration also requires sensitivity and humility — the giving over of primary attention to the one being celebrated. This is an act of de-centering, stepping to the side of the individual(s) who are being recognized.
Hopefully — because most of us find something (or things) to celebrate in our lives — we can allow ourselves to feel joy for them without putting ourselves into the middle of their moment. If it’s our time to be celebrated, we can perhaps simply revel in the energy that comes to us from others gathered round, whether in person or virtually.
Celebrations are the stuff of memories, the coming together of our dreams and aspirations, and the opportune moment to reflect on what has made our life rich with meaning. To be sure, we can make each and every day a celebration — we got there! We’re (still) fully alive! We are awake to give and receive, to notice and remark.
Many people create their own intrapersonal activities and experiences to acknowledge the mere passage of time. In Judaism, we say blessings at any given moment when we recognize a first — the first flower coming into bloom, the beginning of a day, each Friday shabbat, and so on. Other faith traditions have similar rituals, although some of course are unique to each faith’s particular belief and value systems. Taken together as a whole over the course of a lifetime, ritual celebrations form an essential element of the uniqueness of a human life.
And then there are spontaneous celebrations — actions and activities expressing the excitement of being alive in a given moment. A “high five” for a job well done; a pat on the back or gentle touch to the shoulders when a goal or basket is made; a big smile when a child gets on a bike and rides for the first time or opens a book and actually reads a word, a sentence, or a page — on and on. All are worth the acknowledgement and appreciation for another person doing something definitely evolutionary, and potentially revolutionary.
So, beyond this Fourth of July, America’s celebration of reaching its 250th birthday, what are you most looking forward to celebrating – about what, with whom, when, how, and where? Think for a moment, and you will likely have a special moment of your own and with others to look forward to!
Daniel Cantor Yalowitz, Ed.D., writes a regular column for the Recorder. He in an intercultural and developmental psychologist and writes about issues focused on human and civil rights, human values, and his ongoing commitment to create a better world for us all. Reach out to him at danielcyalowitz@gmail.com.