President Donald Trump is between a rock and a hard place: A Feb. 19 column in the New York Times describes the way President Trump thinks and talks as a 4-year-old child (“Here’s What I just Figured Out About the Way Trump Talks” by John McWhorter). Ten days later, a Reuter opinion poll says, 61% of Americans would describe Trump as “having become erratic with age.”
So, Trump is both a child and a senile old man as our sitting president. But in business and politics, Trump’s main lines of fame, success does not require a lot of mature reflection or wisdom. A man with childish traits — clever and stupid, but highly motivated — can succeed as a businessman and later as a politician, with age catching up with him.
That explains Trump’s lack of human competence. But, how do we explain his government officials whose idiocy, stupidity and incompetence are their most commonly known character traits as they carry on in various bureaucratic capacities that are specific, technical and conventional?
Not a day goes by in America without exposures of Trump officials making idiotic comments, with impossible logic in their statements, or twisting explanations into non-sequiturs, or making childish splashes in the news media, and so on. Virtually, all well-known officials in the Trump government (name any) are good fodder for late-night comedians and SNL mimicry (too many to name). As most smart Trumpsters work outside Trump’s direct orbit, no high-rankers inside his government are known for their brilliant minds: Even a physician begins his rapid descent into idiocy upon government appointment.
But, with few exceptions, they all were once capable people in their own career fields: As a news show host, Florida’s attorney general, a GOP congressional candidate, a corporate CEO, or a working lawyer and so on — certainly no slouches. Yet, once they start working for Trump, these previously competent professionals suddenly become comic incompetents and bumbling idiots. This phenomenon is so consistent that the New York Times is sure that normal corporations in America “would never hire (such people) for their companies.” Our most common reaction to their faux pas is quite mundane: We roll our eyes in disbelief and lament: “Surely, they couldn’t be that dumb!” Former CIA chief Leon Panetta is more stoic with what he sees: He calmly says, “That’s what kids do!”
Indeed! What is in Trumpworld that turns normally smart people into idiots and competent people into incompetents once they are employed in Trump’s government?
Columbia University linguist John McWhorter’s aforementioned Times column provides the insights we need: Trump, in his frequent uses of direct quotations in his speech, talks (and presumably thinks) like a typical four-year-old. The professor cites research to show that, around the age of four, we start using fewer direct quotes in our speech by increasing the pattern of “paraphrasing.” So, for example, we say, “Mom says that we shouldn’t talk so loud,” not, “Mom says, ‘Don’t talk so loud.’” The difference may be small between direct quotes (called “recursion”) and indirect paraphrasing. But, starting about the age of four, normal growth requires increasing paraphrasing quotes, incorporating what others say into our own speech and thought. But, for some reason, Trump never grew out of this simpler speech pattern of direct quotes, which is his present mode of speaking (and thinking) — rather unique among American presidents. Somehow his growth was stunted at the age of four. If you told a four-year-old child that his hated stepfather just died, very likely the child would say, “Good. I’m glad he’s dead,” or something like that. That’s exactly what Trump said (March 20) when told that his nemesis (former special prosecutor) Robert Mueller died: Trump the child said, “Good. I’m glad he’s dead.”
This solves our mystery. To work for Trump who is four, you must definitely be younger than he. Your boss has issued you two cardinal commandments to live by: First, you must never be smarter than he. Second, you must never arouse his jealousy by outshining him in publicity. As Trump’s lackey, you can never be too stupid or too corrupt or too incompetent, but you can easily be too exposed to publicity. He may be a four-year-old in intelligence, but in jealousy, hell knows no fury like Trump whose public spotlight is stolen by an underling. (Remember why Kristi Noem was dismissed!)
Unlike our normal world of business or academia where being smart helps, it’s dangerous to be too smart in Trumpworld. As your boss is barely four, you must remember at all times to act younger than that. For a high-ranking government official, it’s a humiliating life of self-degradation to always think, speak and act dumber than your boss, who is so easy to outshine. (Noem again!) But, to receive his continuing approval and affection, you must swear to be dumber than him, being the “lesser” version of Trump in everything you do. If he acts mean and crazy, you must act meaner and crazier. Under no circumstances must you try to be the “adult in the room” or point out he is “not being presidential.” Trump can fill the new White House ballroom with all the Nobel Prize winners of America to work for him, but they will still be acting like three-year-olds.
How did we end up with a 4-year-old president (perhaps for life) and a government run by 3-year-olds, who, together, make life-or-death and war-or-peace decisions for us? As Hardy might have said to Laurel, “What a fine mess America has gotten into!”
Jon Huer, retired professor and columnist for the Recorder, lives in Greenfield and writes for posterity.