Gerry and I like to walk through old cemeteries and read the epitaphs. Today most cemetery tombstones just tell a person’s name, date of birth and date of death. The old tombstones often say a few words about a person. You kind of feel you’re introduced to them and think about them for a few minutes and the meaningfulness of their lives. They weren’t just nobodies who lived awhile and were gone forever.

We were talking about this subject with our young friend Tim Houle and he said he’d like to explore the Phillipston cemeteries with me. Here are a few examples of the epitaphs we found.

A husband, whose wife died at age 61 in 1850, inscribed the following words on her tombstone:

Farewell partner, kind and true

As kind a mother as child ever knew.

She’s gone to meet her children dear

Her friends will miss her far and near.

Tim and I pictured her as a pleasant gentle person, a person loved in the community. I had to pause and reflect on the sadness she had to endure when I read that she had gone to meet her children. Parents aren’t supposed to outlive their children, it leaves a hurt that never heals.

The next one, inscribed on a man’s tombstone who died in 1819 at age 73, listed only his name, no wife or relative:

Set thine house in order

for thou shalt die and not live.

The writing made us think of a matter-of-fact, rather pessimistic personality, maybe a bit grumpy. Tim thought he might have been a lonely person. We felt sorry for him.

This simple one from the late 1800’s shows a daughter’s love:

I love and miss you Mom.

I reflected on the close bond between a mother and daughter, and the unconditional love that is always there. I reminisced about my mother and the loving supportive role she had in my life. Tim talked about how good his mother is to him.

Some epitaphs say little but still make you ponder:

Their infant son died 1848

Mother died 1849 – age 21

Who had it inscribed? Not the husband. I wondered if she died from complications from childbirth which was so common then.

A woman who died in 1907 at age 83 had the following message inscribed:

Loved ones in the homeland

were waiting for me to come.

I explained to Tim that she was an immigrant. We wished we’d known where she was from, but it was obvious she missed people from her homeland that had passed away and was looking forward to being rejoined with them in heaven.

We were glad to see that a few modern-day epitaphs told something of the person. Tim was excited to find this one about a man he knows, a tombstone, not yet used that poetically tells of his love of nature:

Enjoy the blue skies, clouds, sunrise and sunsets

The birds, bees, bugs and all the rest.

The trees, shrubs, flowers, grasses and weeds,

the bear, deer, rabbits and all God’s critters.

That’s a good message for all of us to contemplate, the incredible creation around us that only God could create.

Another recent one is about a man who died in 2012. Tim was searching to locate it because it is his uncle’s grave:

Married 37 3/4 years

In love forever.

Purple Heart, Vietnam.

His wife had the length of their marriage, including the fraction, inscribed to show how important every day of their union was, and the military honor he received shows his service to country and the challenges he must have faced that probably influenced his life forever.

It was difficult to get a good photo of the writings on old tombstones, so I took one of a beautiful wreath carved in the 1800’s. A wreath is a symbol reminding us to remember. Christians hang wreaths at Christmastime to remember the coming of Jesus and His mission to give us eternal life. The importance of the wreath symbol has even been recognized by Congress. In 2008, Congress created a National Wreaths Across America Day, a day in early December when wreaths are placed on veterans’ graves to remind us of all they did for our country. The tribute started in Arlington National Cemetery and is gradually spreading across the country. Almost two million veteran graves were decorated with a wreath this past Christmas season.

Tim and I had fun reading the epitaphs and reflecting on the people’s lives. We talked about how we’re all individuals and everyone is special. Whether it’s a deed, a hobby, vocation, words of advice, a philosophy, everyone leaves a mark of some kind. It’s good to have something lasting about our lives for future generations to read when they stroll through our burial places. Gerry decided to have Navy wings placed by his name to indicate the service he so proudly gave to his country and I had a quill pen put by mine to show my love of writing.

Let’s emulate what our ancestors did and not be just a name with two dates.

Gone but not forgotten.

Carole Gariepy, of Phillipston, is a frequent contributor.