I sat down for a moment and glanced at my wrist today…
Around it rests a band I’ve worn for two years. It is black and teal, with a ribbon etched in its center. It represents that I am standing with someone with her fight against cervical cancer. This band is significant to my family and me because my sister-in-law, who I love very dearly, is in the fight of and for her life with this brutal disease. Her community of family, friends, and acquaintances all stand with her.
It got me thinking…
If I walked into the Dana Farber Cancer Center Institute, in Boston, where she is being treated, and someone saw my band, would they be offended and state, “All Cancers Matter?”
Of course not.
They would recognize that I am dealing, in whatever way, with a terrible situation. Her “community” of people who care about her are also affected.
Then, I wondered if wearing this band meant that another cancer, such as lung cancer, doesn’t matter. Of course not. Any rational person would agree. I’m also part of that community, as my father fought it for his final two years, physically wasting away from the strong presence he once was. It was one of the most difficult times in my life.
Before cancer affected my family, I didn’t understand what it was like to be part of this extended cancer community in that way. Sure, my family had been part of Relay for Life for many years before it affected us personally. I was an ally, but I didn’t really know what it meant to be part of that community until then.
From there, I reflected on what is happening in our world today. Many people are offended by the slogan Black Lives Matter. They counter with All Lives Matter. I see where they are coming from and think everyone agrees that all lives matter.
But what are people of color really trying to say with this slogan, though? It isn’t that other people’s lives are insignificant. Their community is struggling with an unfair situation, similar, though in a different way, to my smaller community dealing with an unfair situation. They are speaking out against this oppression and representing hope and faith for their future. My community is speaking words of hope and faith, not against other’s worthiness for health, but for my sister-in-law’s fight.
Again, all cancers matter and all lives matter … but, that is not what Black Lives Matter or my representing the fight against only one cervical cancer is about.
Empathy can be difficult to understand for some. I get that, and it is not meant as a negative. Many have to live it to truly feel it. I can never live that life and genuinely experience it. If you are not a person of color, you do not know what it is like to live in their shoes, and deal with the many things we take for granted. I certainly don’t know what it is like, but I have empathy for their community’s shared experience.
Does this mean I agree with everything going on in our country right now? No! ACAB (all cops are bad) is absurd. Looting and destruction is unacceptable. Those instances do not represent the majority of people with hope and faith, seeking a better existence for themselves.
My sister-in-law’s fight goes on. I stand with her in whatever minuscule way I can, compared to what she is doing with her immeasurable bravery.
Cervical Cancer Matters. Black Lives Matter.
Mark Burnett is a resident of Erving.