This is written in response to John Blasiak’s My Turn (‘It’s about providing basic human rights to a vulnerable group’). Do you eat eggs, Mr. Blasiak? To follow your logic regarding life, I suggest that you stop. Fertilized eggs are embryos after all. They could, if kept warm by their mother and incubated to term, become chicks, which would grow for a few months and then be killed so that someone could have a nice chicken dinner.
I am confused by your logic, Mr. Blasiak. You appear to have conflated sex with birth. Sex is a human drive, like eating and sleeping, and I suggest politely that there may have been times in life that you engaged in sexual relations for a reason other than to produce children. Perhaps I am wrong, and supposing you have two or five or eight children, that you engaged in sexual relations two or five or eight times. If that is true, then you are right, in your own life, for stating the purpose of sexual relations.
There are probably as many reasons for sexual acts as there are people: among them love, lust, boredom, opportunity, fun, domination, submission, duty, and let us not forget, rape.
In 1988 I was a volunteer at a large teaching hospital. That hospital had a pregnancy termination unit attached and I volunteered there once a week for about three months. The nurses who worked there, and the doctors who performed the terminations, were dedicated professionals. They knew, as few do, the stories of the women who reluctantly appeared at the receptionist’s door in order to terminate an unwanted, accidental, or coerced pregnancy.
Here is one of those stories. One morning, a wizened old woman came into the clinic holding the hand of a very thin and frightened looking girl. This woman had lived a very tough life, raising several children in poverty. The child, weighing 75 pounds, was her granddaughter. She was 12. The grandmother said that her pregnant granddaughter had been raped by a 20-year-old cousin. It was imperative to her that the child’s pregnancy be terminated, even though she was a devout Catholic and knew that she was going against the teachings of the church.
My job at the clinic was to provide whatever was needed in the recovery room after the brief procedure. When this child, Rose, was placed on the recovery room recliner, she was asleep, thanks to the Valium given to all patients. I sat by her chair. She slowly awakened, and began to quietly cry. “Are you in pain?” I asked. No. “Would you like a drink of water?” No. “Rose, why are you crying?” She finally spoke: “Because God will hate me now.” That took my breath away, but then I said, “Do you believe that God has always loved you?” Yes, she nodded. “Then if God has always loved you, there is no way that he will stop loving you.” She took the tissue I offered, wiped her tears, and gave me the tiniest smile.
Perhaps you have a daughter. Perhaps you can imagine that your 12-year-old daughter was raped and that she is now pregnant. Imagine that your 12-year-old daughter has always been shy and may be having a little difficulty at school. She doesn’t really understand what has happened to her, but she knows that her mother has noticed that she hasn’t had her period for a couple of months and has figured out what happened and needs to make a decision now about whether her 12-year-old daughter is to carry a baby to term. There is no time to waste. Do you insist that because there is a mass of cells in your 12-year-old daughter’s uterus that might one day become a viable child breathing air, she must give birth? Assuming your beloved 12-year-old daughter survives, do you plan to take that child and raise it as your own? Do you send it out for adoption?
Now how do you feel about how Rose’s grandmother handled it? Did she give her granddaughter a chance at a relatively normal life? Or should she have risked her granddaughter’s life by forcing her to give birth at age 12? What’s that? You don’t know. Well, respectfully Mr. Blasiak, your My Turn made it sound as if you did.
Ginger Carson lives in Greenfield, is retired, worked in hospitals for 22 years before retirement and is a member of the Council on Aging.