Pastors and funerals directors work hand-in-hand to assist families and friends in paying their final respects to a loved one who has passed, typically arranging viewings, calling hours, funeral Masses, memorial services and receptions meant to bring the bereaved together in mutual support. Now, in response to restrictions imposed by state and federal officials to combat the coronavirus pandemic, those professionals are having to rethink the ways they serve clients and the community.
David Quinn Jr., president and owner of Kidder Funeral Home in Northfield, explains, “You can’t have any gatherings larger than 10 people, so that kind of limits the ability to have a traditional funeral service where you have upwards of a hundred people. We can’t do it right now.”
Quinn had just come from a Tuesday morning graveside service. “They’re telling us we can do graveside services and that’s pretty much it. This morning, we had four people in the funeral home. It’s a terrible, terrible thing to do this to a family, to tell them that they’re limiting the number of people at a funeral service. That’s what we had to do this morning.” Quinn said the family was “totally understanding. They’re 100 percent in on this, like, I guess, everyone else is. If we’re going to stop this beast, you have to make sacrifices.”
The Rev. Timothy Campoli, pastor of Holy Trinity and Blessed Sacrament churches in Greenfield, wrote in an email, “Pastoral care of the sick and dying, the vigil or wake service, the funeral Mass and rite of committal remains the same. Precautions, which may include personal protective equipment, are used as needed/required when ministering to the sick and dying.
“The vigil or wake is under the same state and Diocesan directives for the number of people.
“The rite of committal at the cemetery follows these same guidelines.
“As always, the pastor is in touch with the family and friends to offer support.”
The Rev. Dr. Megan Leary, pastor of Central Congregational Church in Orange, said she has discussed the topic with Jeff Cole, owner and director of Witty’s Funeral Home, which serves the North Quabbin area. “Right now,” said Leary, “I think the hardest thing is the unknown. We’re just taking it day by day and situation by situation. I’m a hugger, so it’s especially difficult (to observe physical distancing guidelines). Families either have to postpone a service or hold a very different type of service and then go home and be isolated.”
Cole said, “We just had a burial last week and there was an immediate family of five at the cemetery.” The Rev. Sean O’Connor of St. Mary’s church in Orange, presided. O’Connor said, “The limited number of people who attended used Facetime on their cell phones so that people who were unable to be present could participate in the service.”
In addition to family members using Facetime to share a graveside service using their cellphone, as Cole recounted, other modes of technology are making their way into the grief landscape.
The Rev. David Neil, pastor of the United Church of Bernardston, said, “I had one funeral scheduled for last Saturday but it ended up being postponed until this (coronavirus) was done. So one of the things the family did on Saturday was a sort of virtual remembrance on Facebook, where they posted pictures of the photo collages that you so often see at the end of funerals and at calling hours, and then they asked people to either share pictures they had of him and share memories. Quite a few people did respond and I think it was helpful to the family.”
Mack Family Funeral Homes notified the community in an ad, “In an effort to allow family and friends to continue to be involved in a service, Mack Family Funeral Homes will be providing free webcasting of all services to families we serve throughout the mandated restriction of attendees period.
“Once the service is complete, a recorded version will remain on our website for those who may have been unable to view life.”
Leary said, “I think that all of this has pushed everybody out of their comfort zone and forced us to be creative in how we approach things like worship and funerals.”
Neil said, “In a way, we’re very lucky and blessed that this is all happening in a time of accelerated communications. The whole social media thing has really enabled us to have a sense of connection that, up until this point, some people might have pooh-poohed, saying, ‘Oh, it’s not real connection because you’re not actually with the person. But at this point now, we’re realizing that that’s about as real as the connection is going to be. At least through cellphones and texting and social media and Facetiming and all this kind of stuff, I think people can have a sense of still feeling connected, even though we don’t have a physical closeness we once had.”
Leary, too, said she has been trying to look on the current situation as a blessing: “Just that it’s forcing us to rethink our norms and how we usually do things.”
Both Quinn and Cole said they are still offering embalming services as well as crematoria and that their precautions, including wearing personal protective equipment (PPE), haven’t changed. “We wear protective clothing,” said Quinn. “We are incredibly careful when we do our procedures to make sure we don’t prick ourselves with a needed. It’s just all the stuff that we’ve been doing for the last 20 years.”
Cole echoed Quinn’s sentiments, adding that the state medical examiner has relaxed the rules regarding cremations. “Right now, if a family chooses cremation, there is no identification required by the medical examiner from the family. The family used to have to ID the body before cremation and have to sign an affidavit that they viewed the body. You used to have to hold a body 48 hours before cremation — state law. Now that has been voided as well as that 48-hour holding time. They speeded up the process because the state is afraid the crematories are going to get overwhelmed.”
Both Quinn and Cole said they have sufficient supplies of personal protective equipment on hand, “for the time being,” said Cole on Tuesday. “I started ordering stuff 10 days ago and it has arrived.”
“The biggest thing, really,” said Leary, “would be just to remind people to continue reaching out. While we’re (social) distancing, not to distance emotionally, especially for those who have lost a loved one.”
Campoli reminded the Greenfield Catholic community, “Christians celebrate the funeral rites to offer worship, praise and thanksgiving to God for the gift of life which always belongs to God, who is our hope. This does not change, even in the age of coronavirus.”