In some religions — and in many places h— this is the time of year when people reflect on and (re)set their intentions for the near future. Whether it’s celebrating the Jewish New Year (Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur), or starting a new school year, beginning a new job or being promoted, or voting in recent primaries and the forthcoming general election, many of us have opportunities to consciously and conscientiously consider new directions in our lives.
Our choices are often based on our values, convictions, and lifestyle priorities. Living these beliefs with clarity means that we need to have the time and space to think, and to carefully discern what is most meaningful and feels most right to us individually and collectively.
What are the questions we ask ourselves as we undertake the (re)building of our priorities and aspirations? How will we make the changes necessary in our lives to bring greater meaning, health, and joy into our lives and the lives of those we love and care about? And what are we willing to sacrifice to create a saner world?
These queries, and many others, are consequential when it comes to goal- and priority-setting. And these are essential when our goals and priorities are being enacted through our intentions. Especially when we are thinking about what matters most, we are better off going beyond the dual considerations of time and money. Intentions are based on our core values. They are the expression of what we hold most dear.
While it has been said that “good intentions pave the way to … ” is not particularly complimentary, it is also true that unless we set strong and clear intentions, we have little basis to act in focused and conscientious ways. Our intentions are our guides for our behaviors and our actions. Intentions may also serve as guides for our thinking, convictions, our ability to self-regulate, and navigating the challenges of all manner of relationships. Living with intention means being deliberate in our actions, thoughts, and goals. When we set clear intentions, we align our lives with purpose and direction. In short, intentions provide a mental compass and anchor as we negotiate the daily challenges of living our complex lives.
Many of us are familiar with the concept and practice of setting “resolutions” for each (new) year. For some, it may have something to do with losing weight gained over the winter holidays; others may choose to cut back on spending, refrain from eating certain foods, or do a better job of being in touch with friends. For each of us, these resolutions are actually intentions that we make, perhaps even publicly, to help direct or redirect our routines and lifestyles.
Real and deep behavior change is no simple endeavor. It takes internal organization, discipline, and motivation. I would add the caring support and encouragement of others as well. It is not unusual to experience or observe that the genuineness of these goal-based visions can fall by the wayside after a matter of days, weeks, or months. The reasons for the failure to activate and continue with our intentions are both complex and simple: we lack one or more of the above qualities to manifest these purposeful goals over time, or there are overwhelming obstacles that obfuscate our path forward. While true for most of us, this is hardly a deal-breaker: the stories of individuals overcoming odds are voluminous!
What can help us to hold to and abide by our key intentions? For one, the sharing and “public declaration” of how we intend to be and to live enables others around us to offer their support, care, and encouragement. This doesn’t necessarily mean putting them in the local paper, or emailing them to our various lists, or going public on social media, although one can do any of these if so given. But it can help us if we let others we trust know what (at least some of) our intentions are.
Another consideration is that we focus on the creation of our intentions along the lines of making SMART (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound) goals. Doing so helps us to measure our progress and to more easily identify obstacles that are in the way. Here is a comparison of a most-likely unachievable goal next to a SMART(ly) worded intention focused on weight loss:
- “I really want to lose weight.” This is a desirable goal (or wish), but it may be too vague. Instead, consider the following: “Based on what I know about myself and my food habits, I will stop purchasing sweets for my home and elsewhere and avoid eating sugary products at home and at work for the next month and will re-evaluate this on a monthly basis.”
Finally, having the courage to review our intentions regularly enables us to assess if those intentions we have set are in fact the most meaningful and logical ones. Sometimes, having the flexibility and nimbleness helps us to adjust to the pragmatic realities of the challenges in our lives as they come upon us.
In times of crisis and ambiguity, setting, maintaining, and striving to live out our intentions can be empowering and growthful. We’ve all been through difficult times over these past years, and (re)creating intentionality in our lives can be the steadying and calming force we need to keep us moving forward.
Daniel Cantor Yalowitz, Ed.D., writes a regular column for the Recorder. He in an intercultural and developmental psychologist and writes about issues focused on human and civil rights, human values, and his ongoing commitment to create a better world for us all. Reach out to him at danielcyalowitz@gmail.com.