Have you thought much about the concept and definition of “time,” and the role it plays in our lives? Have you given yourself the time to do so? We live with time as an ongoing companion, regardless of whether we heed it and hold a conscious awareness of it.
“Time” is embedded in almost every conversation and communication we have with other people, and it plays a significant role in our relationships, careers, adventures, development and growth. There is no way around it. It is there, and it is up to us to make of it what we will. Time has permeated and infiltrated nearly every aspect of our lives, maybe more than any other singular word, term or phrase.
In my 2018 book, entitled “Journeying With Your Archetypes: The Search for Deeper Meaning in Daily Life,” I wrote in some depth about the concept and consideration of time in our lives. I excerpt a small part of that book here:
In English — perhaps in many other languages of the world as well — we have built a vocabulary of words and terms that have, in essence, commodified time. Let’s dig in a bit here. To start, we often place an active verb in front of time, indicating a need to “do” something about it, or with it: wasting, sharing, structuring, managing, saving, booking, killing, spending, missing, adding, subtracting, dividing, holding, marking, losing, freezing, gaining, giving, taking, and it is something we will all “run out of” — just a few among many. You can probably add others that you have heard or used yourself. Taken together, these point to the critical importance we place within our cultural and linguistic contexts on the meaning and purpose of time itself.
It has been said that “time waits for no one,” and we have devised an entire lexicon and system of measuring and making meaning of the hundreds of ways that we as humans identify the ubiquitous nature of time. It’s equally true that of all the things we think we can control, time is not one of them. Time happens. It passes and moves forward in only one direction, no matter what we say, think or do. And therein lies one of the eternal and universal struggles we all have with time — it’s not “ours.” It can only go forward, and our entire lives are built around it.
This is not to say that time is evil or pernicious. As well, it is not necessarily “good.” We ascribe our own feelings about time based on how it is impacting us and our loved ones personally, and this changes on a near-daily basis. We devise ways to learn how to cope with the wildly divergent responses we have to the concept itself. Some of these ways are more successful than others. So, in a sense, we are constantly experimenting with our understanding of time and its role in our lives.
Any and all experiments come with a baked-in consequence — a continuum between success and utility on the one end, and failure and futility on the other.
When we are young, we are less aware of time in a measured and humanly-constructed sense. I am aware, as I age, that time is “running out” and that helps me to see that more of my choices and decisions have everything to do with the commodification of time. I want to use it carefully, thoughtfully and well. I am focused on “managing” it to benefit my loved ones, my clients, my neighbors and myself. Daily, I hold this awareness so that I can “use” it meaningfully and productively.
We deal with time in contradictory ways. Time is both infinite and ongoing; it never ends. At the same time, our lives are predicated on the fact that “time is short” and we’re only here as our earthly selves for a relatively brief amount of it. I believe this contradiction is at the core of many of our foibles — competition, greed, selfishness, ego, poor boundaries, messy relationships and more.
Attempts to try to control time are generally doomed to experience some degree of failure sooner or later. However, there are ways in which controlling time can be helpful — for one, taking a “time out” in sports so that a team can better construct its play against opponents. As a former special education teacher, I know we used to issue a “time out” to children when they became emotionally or behaviorally dysregulated (this was, in theory, supposed to be helpful, but not always!). Those who can plan vacations do so as another form of “time out,” and hopefully it goes well enough to be considered advantageous to do so.
Something as large and ever-present as time deserves deeper consideration for most of us. We can’t live without understanding its critical role in our lives, and we’re likely better off trying to live in harmony with it than disparaging it because of its oversized impact. So, here’s to taking time to reflect on its influence in our one precious life.
Daniel Cantor Yalowitz, Ed.D., writes a regular column for the Recorder. He in an intercultural and developmental psychologist, and writes about issues focused on human and civil rights, human values and his ongoing commitment to create a better world for us all. Reach out to him at danielcyalowitz@gmail.com.