I was having a conversation with someone recently and they shared, “I am just stuck in my life and don’t know what to do!” They continued to explain, and as an outsider listening from an unemotional perspective it was clear that my friend wasn’t actually stuck; they had several options before them. They just didn’t like any of them.

Isn’t that how it goes? We back ourselves into a corner with no outside help at all solely because we don’t care for the choices we have before us. So what do we do? We freeze, we get bogged down, we fight the fact that we don’t have better or more appealing options, so we make no decision at all, which leads directly to that stuck feeling.

It’s a very human dilemma.

Sometimes we really are stuck. An unexpected financial situation arises, and we don’t have the money to cover it, or a serious illness strikes and we need to select the treatment with the highest likelihood of success without any guarantees. There are many times when we feel we have run out of options, and that is real.

However, at other times, we are faced with situations where we must make difficult decisions that will make us uncomfortable, or that require some true effort on our part. We might be choosing between staying in a damaging relationship and continuing to be verbally or physically abused or leave and make it on our own. Neither choice is “preferable” to us, but one saves us and the other puts us at risk.

Of course, there is always the option of not deciding on anything, but that, too, is actually a choice. It just doesn’t lead to solutions.

The Israelites were just as human as the rest of us, and when Moses led them out of Egypt, all were not thrilled, despite having lived in slavery. They were finally freed from the tyranny of the Pharaoh, but once in the wilderness they complained and groaned about the hardships and the conditions. In fact, many wanted to turn around and return, not because it was better (indeed, it wasn’t) but because it was familiar, and sometimes we settle for familiar versus any sort of risk, to our own detriment.

Freedom comes with choices, and making choices can be hard and uncomfortable.

When faced with difficult choices, there are several things we can do rather than allowing ourselves to become stuck. We can name out loud that we really dislike all our options but also acknowledge that we still must select one. Naming our dissatisfaction and admitting that we wish we had other options can be helpful in accepting the responsibility for making a choice, even if we have to hold our nose while doing so!

We can also decide that we don’t have to walk the hardest road. Sometimes taking the less effective, but seemingly safer path can at least get us moving again. Sort of like pulling your foot out of your shoe that is mired in mud allows you to start wiggling in a new way to release yourself from the bog.

Another way of viewing your situation can be to allow yourself to remove the most distasteful option from the table. That can be helpful by leaving options for consideration that are a little more palatable without having them tainted by the worst possible choice you could make.

Maybe the real question isn’t, “Why am I stuck?” but instead is, “What choice am I avoiding making?” Maybe we should then ask ourselves, “What if I simply told myself the truth about this situation, and accept that I am not going to like any option, but still need to move forward?”

After all, being truly stuck, or merely unwilling, are two very different things.

Athol Congregational Church, UCC is a local community of faith that is “small enough to know you, large enough to serve.” We celebrate in-person worship as well as offer Facebook livestream services under “Athol Congregational Videos.” Our pastors and members are available for conversation on our Athol Congregational Church Facebook page, and through private messages. We would love to connect. We offer long-distance Reiki through our certified practitioners. We are willing to pray with you, and want to know you, whoever you are. We are located at 1225 Chestnut Street and can be reached at 978-249-6202.