Like most women, Ann Marie Meltzer has played many vital community roles, both paid and unpaid, in addition to mothering. At 86, the mother of three, grandmother of seven and new great-grandmother meets life on her own terms and is an inspiring model as we celebrate Mother’s Day.
“I don’t regret that I was a stay-at-home wife and mother,” said Meltzer, who earned a degree in industrial psychology at age 43. After her marriage ended, Meltzer operated a Cape Cod resort before moving to Wendell and managing the billing department for a nonprofit women’s health agency. Later, she worked as a freelance bookkeeper and opened her home to women in the midst of difficult life transitions.
“I grew up in a secular Jewish family of Ukrainian and Sicilian heritage,” said Meltzer. Frequently gravitating to leadership positions, she took up Middle Eastern dance in the early 1970s and went on to teach the art form for 35 years.
“Being a foster mom to teens involved in court systems led me to work with restorative justice programs,” she said. “I served on probation boards and facilitated (restorative justice) trials in Orange and Greenfield. Starting in 2019, I facilitated writing groups for incarcerated women and those in recovery.”
Customarily clothed in shades of purple — including a tasteful violet blush in her white hair — Meltzer is a paragon of grace, humor and wisdom. Her close friend Lori Gordon described Meltzer as “the most inspiring person I know.”
Citing adaptability as one of many admirable traits, Gordon said, “Ann Marie has significant health issues, but she swiftly integrates new challenges and decides what to do next.” Arthritis made playing the piano or guitar too difficult, so Meltzer switched to the dulcimer. Macular degeneration dramatically diminished her eyesight, so the expert knitter took up drawing and painting.
In 2014, Meltzer published “Coming of Age,” a book of poems and lyrical prose in which she unflinchingly examines the difficulties and gifts of aging. Although the book is out of print, two copies are available through the CWMARS interlibrary system.
Rather than avoiding formidable themes, Meltzer meets them head-on in her writing and in her life, including facilitating groups for grandparents raising grandchildren, leading healthy aging seminars, and serving as a hospice volunteer. Despite — or perhaps because of — her own health challenges, she’s taught strength and balance classes through the Greenfield YMCA and guided diabetes support and prevention programs.
In addition to an impressive record of work and volunteerism, Meltzer found time to design and knit dozens of sweaters. Her Greenfield condo resembles an art gallery and is home to a cedar chest filled with carefully folded sweaters representing every color on the spectrum.
“It got to the point where I had to give one away before deciding to make another one,” she said with a wry smile.
When asked to identify the sources of her drive, Meltzer spoke glowingly of her grandfather, Joseph Meltzer — affectionately known as “Zayde Yosl.” In Yiddish, Zayde means grandfather, while Yosl is a diminutive of the Hebrew name Yosef.
“Zayde Yosl was the primary influence in my life,” said Meltzer. “He was an anarchist and a member of the Italian Defense Committee for Sacco and Vanzetti.”
Nicola Sacco and Bartolomeo Vanzetti were Italian immigrants to Massachusetts and avowed anarchists who were accused of armed robbery and murder in 1920. Their case became a global sensation, as many believed they were convicted primarily for their radical political beliefs and immigrant status rather than conclusive evidence, highlighting intense social tensions. They were executed in 1927.
“Zayde Yosl was a peaceful man who lived by anarchist precepts of the 19th century,” said Meltzer. “He taught me that anarchists don’t simply reject rules. They believe that rules don’t need to be imposed from above — for instance, by institutions — when instead they emerge from negotiations between equals. Zayde Yosl lived his life as if this were true: he chose to see people first, and then to act.”
Other influences in Meltzer’s life included her mother, who earned a living by altering women’s clothes in working-class Chelsea. “My parents were divorced when I was 4,” said Meltzer. “That was unusual back then. My mother had over 400 customers. I also learned skills from my maternal grandmother,” she added. “As a child, I could redo buttonholes by hand.”
Although Meltzer’s childhood included difficulties, her challenges led her to be compassionate toward others. “Wounded kids can heal if you show them another way,” she said. “A child who knows nothing but trauma or abuse can feel stuck, but I’ve seen miracles happen. Sometimes having even just one supportive person for a short time can make all the difference.”
The final poem that appears in Meltzer’s book, “Prayer for Peace,” came about when she decided to have a Bat Mitzvah at age 70. “I studied Hebrew and went through the whole process,” she said. When the Rabbi invited her to co-lead the service, Meltzer wrote the prayer, which she’ll recite at the Greenfield Senior Center on Friday afternoon, May 29 as a guest of the Fiery Hope chorus. The poem concludes: “When we acknowledge our needs and the needs of others, we take care of each other. Then a prayer for peace becomes a simple nod.”
Eveline MacDougall is the author of Fiery Hope and a musician, artist and mom. She can be reached at eveline@amandlachorus.org.