I write in response to two recent letters which both prompted the thought, “What love looks like.”
In his March 26 letter regarding the declining western Massachusetts birth rates, Fr. Greg Markey, head chaplain at Thomas Aquinas College claimed that people are not having “fruitful love” (bearing children) because they are choosing a “culture of barrenness” [“There is another way to happiness“]. The people I know who choose not to have children have a variety of reasons to be childless — some are deeply concerned about the world awaiting young children, environmentally and politically. Or they do not have the finances to support children. Or they prefer to dedicate their lives to supporting their communities without the extraordinary commitment of decades of parenthood.
The letter’s message seems to assume that “fruitful love” is almost by definition superior to the love people extend to other people, community, the earth. If a person grows food in support of their community, or uses time and money to support immigrants in need, does that describe a “culture of barrenness?” I think not. Is that person manifesting love? Yes! If a young couple prioritizes their community by helping students succeed, nurturing spiritual life by regularly singing at churches, temples, synagogues and public concerts, is that a culture of barrenness? I think not. Are they manifesting love? Absolutely!
According to his letter, Fr. Markey sees same sex marriages as an impediment to fruitful love, even though many same sex couples do have children. This narrow vision of love keeps one from appreciating the love exchanged in those families, and the love many give to their communities.
Finally, there is the reality that Fr. Markey himself has chosen a life that by his definition, does not embrace “fruitful love.” He judges others for not bearing children, even while he is presumably not a biological father. Does that mean that the love he gives to God, to his students, to his community is somehow less valuable because it is not “fruitful?” I think not. If however, the letter is an indication of how he expresses his love, than I would argue that his false assumptions and judgments are much closer to a “culture of barrenness” than to the love, compassion and support that Jesus demonstrated.
The second letter I respond to is [“Celebrating America,” March 27]. The letter writer sings the praises of our country, and I agree we have much love for our country. That does not mean I believe in the value of all things USA. It is possible to love our country and still very much wish for some changes to occur.
Among other things, the letter writer praises our “… fair and equal opportunity.” Not everyone in our country experiences fair and equal opportunity. There are many people here who feel that they are not in fact, being treated fairly or equally. If they and others protest, organize, or otherwise speak out, this does not mean they hate our country. It means they are exercising one of the most basic American values as stated in the First Amendment: the freedom to express themselves — in order to inspire changes they see as important to their lives and our country.
The letter praises our “amazing melting pot of civilization.” Yes! We do have an amazing and wonderful collection of different cultures and races! But many of the people who are not white and have not lived here for many generations do not feel valued by our country. Many feel threatened. So people are protesting, organizing and speaking out as a way to more completely have “the American culture” embrace our amazing melting pot of civilization.
Speaking out to support change in our country is perhaps the most patriotic thing a person can do. When we see injustice, when we see our politicians and their subordinates leading us away from our precious Constitution, we speak, we write letters, we make posters, we march. We do this because in this country, we can (mostly). We know that our country is worth peacefully fighting for, that its virtues are profoundly valuable. It might not look like it to some, but our actions are acts of love for this country. They are the very celebration that the letter writer believes in!
Marie Bartlett lives in Shelburne Falls.