(Each Saturday, a faith leader offers a personal perspective in this space. To become part of this series, email religion@recorder.com)
As October draws to a close, the children among us are preparing for Halloween, wondering what scary costume to show off to their socially-distanced friends. Meanwhile, the adults are preparing for Election Day, which is, let’s face it, much scarier.
In between these two well-publicized events is the Day of the Dead. In the Christian tradition, the first of November marks the feast of All Saints; the following day, the remembrance of All Souls. Can we pause in our campaigning, our doom-scrolling and debating, for a moment of remembrance? In an election year, can we spare a day for the dead?
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” So said Jesus, long ago. But how shall we be comforted, if we cannot mourn?
There has been so much loss in our nation this year: Loss of income; loss of health; loss of trust; loss of life. But the pandemic and the political chaos have conspired to complicate our customary rituals of mourning. We have buried our dead quietly, and sent our condolences from a distance. We have gathered nervously, or remotely, or not at all. As a result, our grief remains locked away, quarantined within our private homes and hearts.
There is so much grief, but so little mourning.
Mourning gets delayed, when we are still in the midst of crisis. Grief goes underground, when there is no end in sight. Even in less troubled times, grief is the most intimate of emotions. Mourning feels unsafe, without some small degree of sanctuary — whether it be the sanctuary of a sacred ritual, or the sanctuary of a loving embrace.
I do not mean to imply that there is some magic in mourning that puts an end to grief. Grief runs its long course, throughout our lives. It cannot be hurried or circumvented. But in times of mourning, grief can at least be acknowledged; and sometimes, in acknowledgment of loss, there is comfort. Sometimes in tears, there is grace.
There is a story of a man named Lazarus, who died and was buried. Jesus came to his sisters in their grief and wept with them. After sharing their tears, he restored their brother to them. I can’t help but think that the tears were necessary to the miracle; we must weep, before we rise again.
At the First Church of Deerfield, it is our custom on All Souls Sunday to lift up prayer flags for those who have passed. The making of these flags is an intimate ritual; their raising, a public one. We lift up those we love into the company of the saints, and in the eyes of all, we affirm: this was my beloved.
Our rituals are different this year. Out of concern for one another’s well-being, we have suspended our in-person worship. We cannot gather inside our beautiful Brick Church, surrounded by our customary cloud of witnesses. Our personal flags of remembrance, crafted with care, will be shared digitally, and symbolically raised up into the ether of the internet. But still, we will bless them, and bear witness. We will mourn, and be comforted.
And outside the church, prayer flags will flutter, and the wind will carry aloft our prayers, for all beloved souls. May their memory be a blessing.
If you would like to make a flag of remembrance for a loved one, you may pick up cloth outside the church, today, noon to 2 p.m. If you would like your flag to be part of our virtual service of remembrance, please send a digital photo of your flag to deerfieldpastor@gmail.com by Oct. 28, for inclusion in our Nov. 1 worship.
Rev. Liza B. Knapp is the pastor of the First Church of Deerfield, an inclusive, inquisitive, open-and-affirming congregation of the United Church of Christ and the Unitarian Universalist Association. Whoever you are, wherever you may be on life’s journey, you are warmly invited to worship with us! Due to the covid pandemic, the church is gathering virtually until further notice; services are posted by 10:30 each Sunday on Facebook (The First Church of Deerfield). To receive the Sunday service via email, please contact office@firstchurchofdeerfield.org. Rev. Knapp may be contacted via email at deerfieldpastor@gmail.com.