Good morning!
A half-century ago folks came to the Franklin County Fair to look at the honeybees inside the Roundhouse, gorge themselves on cotton candy and watch the King Kovaz Auto Thrill Show. On the midway, carnival barkers hollered for any and all comers to win cash by beating the fair’s strongman. The Childs brothers — Harry, Harold and Hoss — tried to win the cash prize but were foiled by the carnie worker’s deft wrestling moves.

The three brothers worked on the family farm in Deerfield, and one day fire trucks screeched up after a cow had rubbed its neck against a fire alarm. The news reached the Windy City, where Mrs. O’Leary’s cow caused the Great Chicago Fire by knocking over a lantern inside her barn.

After he couldn’t beat the strongman, Harry brought his motorcycle to the fair and drove it around inside a pit that was no wider than a silo. The goal was to keep his bike above a yellow line for 60 seconds. Maybe an astronaut could’ve withstood the dizziness and nausea caused by the centrifugal force, but not novices like Harry.

One year after I’d already lost most of my allowance trying to win a stuffed bear, I noticed a placard outside a tent that said, “See what drugs did to me!” I bought a ticket and walked inside but instead of a three-headed monster locked in a cage, a portly young man was sitting in a chair and reading a book. I tossed some change on the blanket in front of him, and he looked at me and said, “Thank you.”

Hey, they can’t all be showstoppers.

The 5K Kringle Candle Chase Run/Walk is a week from today at Bernardston’s Pratt Field (9:15 a.m.). The race supports the Jill Harrington Memorial Fund to help disadvantaged kids “realize their dreams.”

“A camp, music, the arts, dancing, anything a child is dreaming of doing or becoming, we want to help make it a reality,” said JEHH Foundation director Kevin Harrington.

In the last 10 years the foundation that was formed in his sister’s memory has contributed $400,000 to various individuals and organizations. “Any team of five members or more can apply for grant money,” said Harrington. “We’ve given to roughly 30 organizations from cheerleading to bands and rec teams. There’s a great team-building aspect to it.”

The JEHH Foundation helped build the new outdoor basketball court at Northfield Elementary School, and the tennis and basketball courts and memorial garden at the Bernardston Elementary School.

The fees to participate are beyond reasonable. The 5K and fun runs are free to anyone 18 and under, and $20 for all others. “Anyone who registers and is over 18 will get a race T-shirt and a Kringle candle,” said Harrington.

Last year’s respective men’s and women’s winners were Bernardston’s Mike Townsley (19:09) and Savannah Gates of Vernon, Vt. (22:34).

For more information go to chaseyourdreamsnow.org.

UMass women’s track & field and cross country coach Julie LaFreniere announced she’ll be retiring next spring. A standout at Gardner High School, she enrolled at UMass and was a member of the school’s first women’s track & field and cross country teams. She was named coach in 1988 and has won a dozen A-10 Coach of the Year awards. 

“It’s been a privilege and an honor,” she said in the school’s press release.

The Los Angeles Angels are a cursed franchise. Pitcher Nick Adenhart was killed by a drunk driver the night of his big league debut, outfielder Lyman Bostock was shot and killed by an estranged husband, Donnie Moore shot and killed his wife and himself and now pitcher Tyler Skaggs is dead after choking on his own vomit.

“We have a tendency to wax poetic about our athletic heroes who die tragically,” said Sirius-XM’s Chris Russo. “You got the great Tyler Skaggs’ picture on the scoreboard and everywhere and then it comes out he’s more drugged up than an elephant.”

Fans think players are disciplined and cohesive, but in reality they go their separate ways and their high character is often a figment of the PR department’s imagination.

Reader Bob Davidson spotted an error in last week’s column, an item reporting that the Southern Missouri football team beat Southern Illinois. “If we’re going to rail on the alma mater (yet again), can we at least point out that Southern Illinois not only didn’t beat SOUTHEAST Missouri State last weekend, they got whacked by 18 points?”

OK but don’t get too giddy about today’s prospects in the home opener at McGuirk Stadium; USA Today’s Jeff Sagarin rates UMass 164th and Southern Illinois is 173rd. A Saluki, in case you’re wondering, is a hunting dog that can run as fast as 43 miles per hour.

Keeping tabs on the scores of how the rest of this season’s UMass opponents did last week, FIU was drubbed by Tulane 42-14, Charlotte hammered Gardner Webb 49-28, Coastal Carolina lost to Eastern Michigan 30-23, Akron lost to Illinois 42-3, La. Tech lost to Texas 45-14, UConn squeaked by mighty Wagner 24-21, Army beat Rice 14-7, Northwestern lost to Stanford 17-7 and Utah beat BYU 30-12. … One more: Liberty lost to Syracuse 24-0 in a game that had first-year Flames coach Hugh Freeze coaching from his hospital bed. According to SI, Freeze has a herniated disc and had surgery to treat a staph infection. … BC’s last-man-standing victory over Va. Tech did little to curry them favor in the Sagarin ratings. The Eagles are rated 46th and the Hokies are 45th, go figure.

The Tennessee Volunteers won the national championship in 1998, but during the last decade they’re 25-55 against the SEC and on Saturday they sunk just a bit deeper.

GoVols247 reported that Tennessee’s Jordan Murphy re-tweeted a joke about Tennessee losing and paying Georgia State $950,000 to play at Neyland Stadium. “Man y’all can’t tell me this ain’t funny,” Murphy tweeted.

Apparently somebody didn’t think it was funny, because Murphy’s no longer on the team.

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The Turners Falls High School football team was supposed to play Lee High School this weekend. The official cause of the program’s demise was low numbers, but also the self-righteous do-gooders who helped create an identity crisis by banning the Indians nickname. Coaches taught players the word symbolized courage and effort, but others felt it was insensitive — and these are sensitive times.

The 92-year-old rivalry between Greenfield and Turners Falls played on through World War II but couldn’t survive political correctness.

SQUIBBERS: In less than a year, Shelburne’s Jay Burnham has moved into the catbird seat at UMass. Three weeks ago, he was named the school’s director of broadcasting, and this afternoon marks his second game as the radio voice of UMass football. His sidekick is Andy Gresch, who played at URI and got his first fulltime radio gig at WPRO in Providence. … Longtime UMass sports information director John Sinnett has left Amherst to take a similar position at Florida Gulf Coast University in Fort Myers. Sinnett’s primary responsibility will be to cover the Eagles men’s basketball team of the Atlantic Sun Conference. … The Buffalo Bills are offering $250 season passes, the only caveat being that the seat locations might change from week to week. … The NY Post’s Page Six spotted Jon Hamm and Nathalie Emmanuel at the U.S. Open. The two actors are better known as Don Draper in “Mad Men” and Missandei from “Game of Thrones.” … This week’s clever college T-shirt award to the Alabama fan wearing the “Roll Tua” shirt. … After Mookie Betts’ second home run on Wednesday night, the Globe’s Alex Speier reported on NESN: “This is the first time in his career that Mookie Betts has homered twice on first pitches in the same game.” Really? Who cares? … Ross Tucker has left his Sirius-XM gig to be the color commentator on the Philadelphia Eagles radio network. …. The shuttered Oak Ridge Golf Club in Gill looks ripe for a round of Scottish golf circa the 15th Century. …  Asked by Chris Russo to name the best team in the NFL, Phil Simms left no doubt: “Bad news for all you New England haters. The Patriots are even better than they were last year.” … Penn State beat Idaho last Saturday, 79-7. Charley Molnar (remember him) is the Idaho quarterbacks coach. Go Vandals. … Asked what he liked best about running Sunday’s Green River Marathon, Boston’s Gregory Leya said, “Honestly the scenery, the river, the woods, the nature, and for such a small event it was incredibly well organized.” … Betts, Rafael Devers, Xander Bogaerts and J.D. Martinez are in the top five in virtually every offensive category, but the pitching staff has the sixth-fewest saves and has issued the third-most walks. As Bob Gibson once said, “The two most important things in life are good friends and a strong bullpen.”

Chip Ainsworth is an award-winning columnist who has penned his observations about sports for four decades in the Pioneer Valley.