As part of National Child Abuse Prevention Month, the Greenfield Recorder is working with Enough Abuse, a citizen education and community engagement initiative organized in 2002 to prevent child sexual abuse in Massachusetts, to share a total of 20 tips for parents that will help them keep their children safe from sexual abuse. These tips will be shared over four weeks.

Tip 1: Understand what child sexual abuse is.

The first step to protecting children is to understand what constitutes child sexual abuse.

Child sexual abuse includes any sexual contact between an adult and a child or a teen. It can also include sexual contact between children when one child is more powerful than the other because of age, size or intellectual development. Child sexual abuse can include both touching and non-touching acts. Both are damaging to kids and are against the law.

Abusive non-touching behaviors include exposing oneself to a child; inappropriately viewing or violating private behaviors of a child or teen, such as while undressing or bathing; taking sexually explicit or provocative images of a child; showing pornography or sexually suggestive images to children; and talking in sexually explicit or suggestive ways to children in person, by phone, online or via text messages.

Tip 2: Understand who sexually abuses children.

The second step to protecting children from sexual abuse is to understand that the majority of adults who sexually abuse children appear friendly and likeable. Many work to earn the trust of children, parents and other adults over time. They often build up to the abuse slowly, beginning with “accidental” touching, then move to cuddling, horseplay, wrestling or back rubs. They may use suggestive comments or jokes, or present sex play as a game.

Most children and teens do not fully understand what is happening, and when they do, many are led by their abusers to believe they are to blame for what has happened, making it difficult for children to tell.

Abusers can present differently, but here are some concerning behaviors that can indicate poor personal boundaries. If you see these, it doesn’t mean the person is abusive. It should, however, cause you to observe their behaviors around children or teens more closely.

Abusers may:

■Find opportunities to be alone with a child or teen when adults are not likely to interrupt (such as car rides, special trips or babysitting).

■Ignore a child’s verbal or physical cues that he or she doesn’t want to be hugged, touched, kissed or tickled.

■Not respect a child’s or teen’s privacy in the bathroom or bedroom.

■Give a child or teen money or gifts for no particular occasion.

■Ask a child or teen to talk about sexual experiences or feelings.

■Not appear to have adult friends and prefer to spend free time interacting with children and teens.

■View child pornography. The majority of men convicted for possessing child porn also admit to having committed physical offenses.

Tip 3: Understand that children can also engage in problematic sexual behaviors.

While sexual behaviors in children are “developmentally expected” and a normal part of growing up, sometimes children are involved in activities with one another that can be inappropriate, concerning or abusive. Recent studies show that as many as 70% of incidences of child sexual abuse involve one child or teen sexually harming another.

You can learn to assess situations involving sexual behaviors of children or teens by asking yourself:

■Is this behavior causing a problem for the child engaged in the behavior or for other children interacting with the child?

■Is one child in the interaction larger in size, older, stronger or more popular?

■Does one child have greater mental, emotional or physical ability?

■Does one child appear to have been coerced into the activity through threats, bribes or physical force?

If you are concerned about any problematic sexual behavior of your child or of other children, visit the Massachusetts Society for a World Free of Sexual Harm by Youth’s website at masoc.net. If your school would like a free training on “Understanding and Responding to the Sexual Behaviors of Children and Adolescents,” email info@enoughabuse.org.

Tip 4: Increase supervision and reduce one-on-one situations between a child and another adult.

Most incidents of child sexual abuse are committed by someone that the child or family knows and trusts. Strangers are abusers less than 10% of the time. Two-thirds of cases involve a non-related adult that has access to the child through a school or youth organization.

One of the ways you can increase your child’s safety is to increase supervision and choose group activities rather than “one child/one adult” situations. However, since many children benefit from and want to participate in private lessons or mentoring programs where one-on-one relationships are key, there are ways you increase safety in those situations.

When you enroll your child in these programs, be sure to approach the instructors or mentors about ensuring your child’s safety. Ask what their policies are around leaving doors open during lessons, and allowing parents to observe or drop in. Encourage your child to tell you if they have concerns about any interactions with adults or kids that make them uncomfortable or confused.

Tip 5: Teach your young children the proper names for their private body parts.

Genitals, like other body parts, are healthy and essential to our physical well-being. One of our society’s deepest-set norms is that we don’t mention the actual names of our private body parts. Some parents use slang words and silly names when referring to them. In fact, many families don’t use any names at all because they are too embarrassed to even acknowledge those parts exist.

When incorrect names or no names are used, kids get the message they will get in trouble if they speak about private parts and so they may not confide in adults when they are confused or concerned that someone is touching them inappropriately. If children believe they cannot even say the names of their private parts, it shuts down communication with adults and sends the message to abusers that they are safe targets who will likely be too embarrassed to ever tell anyone.

There is general consensus from clinicians that using the correct names enhances children’s body image, confidence and openness. Kids who are taught the standard medical names are likely to be better protected and better able to avoid abuse or to talk about it, if it happens.

For more information and tools to help you teach children proper names for body parts, visit enoughabuse.org/why-we-should-teach-children-proper-names-for-private-body-parts.