I would like to thank the Rev. Heather Blais  rector of the Episcopal Church of Saints James and Andrew in Greenfield, for her Oct. 12 column “Let us be more curious than certain.” In it, she cites how in these polarized times we stop seeing our neighbors through the eyes of compassion, or love or understanding, and instead seek to establish our right thinking in relationship to others, making them wrong without even bothering to get to know them.

Years ago, a wise teacher told me that life is like playing at two game tables in Las Vegas. We have two choices: We can play at the right/wrong table or at the relationship table. Which one we put our investment in will give us the results designed by the intent of the different games. I have always taken this metaphor seriously, especially recently as I see our nation in what some call a “cold civil war” with ourselves.

I have been fortunate to hang out once a month for the past five years with a small but dedicated volunteer group of people who are Republicans, Democrats and Independents (Reds, Blues and Purples) meeting as a branch of the national organization called Braver Angels (BraverAngels.org).

Our intent is to better understand each other’s different political positions, ideas, preferences, values, hopes and fears. Sick of toxic politics, we hope to bridge the divide for the good of our democratic republic. And we hope to work together to demand the same of our politicians from both parties.

At first, we debated issues and policies according to our party identities and the source material we subscribed to, i.e. mainstream news, podcasts and social media. Or maybe hearsay from people we respected. We tried to stay clear of name-calling and finger-pointing, but weren’t always successful. Emotions ran high. We went back and forth from the right/wrong table to the relationship table and back again to wanting to express with even more passion why we felt and thought the way we do.

Eventually, slowly, slowly over time, we began being curious about each other. We asked how do you live your life? What is your work? Do you have a family? What are your fears? What do you love about being an American? We began to see each other as human beings on planet Earth. We looked forward to being with each other each month.

We have indeed become neighbors who respect each other despite our differences. I would say we are even feeling like friends. There is a kind of love in the room when we meet. We are finding common ground in our discussions, even when the topic is political. It is safe to be together, sharing our thoughts and feelings about living in our nation and in our local community with all the problems and possible solutions at hand.

Braver Angels has given us a way to create hope together. And while we are a small, dedicated group who persist, many have joined us and left. This is not easy work. We are having to look at our inner polarizer. Yet I can say it offers among the most satisfying connections I have had for learning how to hold to the greater good of the human family.

Come join us! We meet at the Greenfield Library, 5:30 p.m. on the first Tuesday of each month. Whatever your stripe, you are welcomed!

Becca King lives in Greenfield.