Hip hip hooray! President Donald Trump is back in the White House where he belongs, and, as expected, liberals everywhere are freaking out. Maybe I’ll put on my MAGA hat when I go to the supermarket. Yeah, I think I will. It’s time to ruffle some feathers.

Firstly, I would like to thank Jack Smith, Alvin Bragg, Fani Willis, the Jan. 6 Committee members, and all the others who persecuted Trump for years. They helped make him more popular than ever. Again, thanks!

Secondly, I would like to thank former President Joe Biden for picking Kamala Harris to be his VP (though I’m sure he had nothing to do with that foolish decision). Remember when Harris gushed over “yellow school buses?” Very strange. How about her disastrous appearance last fall on “The View”? I wish I could give Sunny Hostin a big hug.

Harris was so off-putting that even fans of Oprah and Taylor Swift couldn’t get her over the finish line. On Nov. 8, The Federalist’s Mark Hemingway said that Harris “was an inauthentic lightweight who couldn’t do the one thing politicians are supposed to be able to do: speak.” To be sure, failed presidential candidate Harris and failed presidential candidate Hillary Clinton will never get over losing to Trump, and when I saw their glum faces at the inauguration I laughed and laughed.

Thirdly, I often hear people praising Biden for his “accomplishments.” What accomplishments? The highest inflation in 40 years? The horrendous withdrawal from Afghanistan that led to the deaths of 13 U.S. service members? Flooding the country with millions of illegal immigrants? The rise of wokeness in the military? The war in Ukraine? Uncle Joe even pardoned Dr. Anthony Fauci, who should be behind bars for his plandemic. So, who’s still wearing a mask five years later?

Thankfully, Biden and Harris are gone, and we should all be celebrating because our long national nightmare is over. But if you’re upset that Trump will keep you safe for the next four years, you could always move to Ukraine.

Julia Duncan

Northfield