As a former federal worker (veteran), I wanted to submit to DOGE (Defending Oligarchs Grandiose Egos) my five bullet points on what I accomplished last week.

Made a pattern for assembling tin foil hats to be issued to current cabinet and department heads, with extras for others tired of wearing red ball caps.

Generated a petition to remove Clarence Thomas from the Supreme Court bench for utilizing woke DEI affirmative action to get into Yale Law School.

Developed a framework to remove and repurpose Tesla batteries for backup home power and metal recycling rest of car with proceeds going to Oxfam.

Sent mass condolences e-mails to the tens of thousands of veterans, park rangers, humanitarian workers, and medical researchers (among many others), who were fired without cause and can no longer provide for themselves or their families.

Recalling that all veterans took an oath to protect and defend the Constitution from all enemies foreign (including South Africa) and domestic (half of Congress), started to produce a website, Vets4Democracy, to help do just that.

Bob Bourke

Heath