Good morning!
On the 250th anniversary of the shot heard round the world, the UMass Minutemen skirmished under new field commander Joe Harasymiak at McGuirk Alumni Stadium.

A former captain and defensive back at Springfield College, the 38-year-old New Jersey native has progressed from being a head coach at Maine to defensive coordinator at the University of Minnesota and Rutgers to accepting the head coaching job at arguably — or not so arguably — the worst football program in America.    

Unlike those before him, he has the resources, administrative backing and staff to turn UMass into a winner.

Jacob Allen knows Harasymiak. Highly-touted in 2021, five knee surgeries forced the 6-foot-6, 270-pound Allen to medically retire. He was at McGuirk watching some of his former teammates when he was asked about Harasymiak and replied, “He was one of the best.” 

Whereas previous spring games were a cacophony of whistles, foghorns and anonymous players running around willy-nilly, Saturday’s game was as close to real as it can get on the third Saturday in April. 

The two teams — Maroon versus White — played 15-minute quarters with running time and a 10-minute halftime, the refs threw flags and spotted the ball, and the chain gang measured downs and distance.

Linemen came off the field and sat on padded foldout chairs, not benches. They used the scoreboard, the PA announcer told everyone who was doing what, and most of the thousand-odd fans stayed till the end — a feat for a program with 26 wins and 122 losses. 

A diminutive woman with close-cropped hair echoed every longtime spectator’s sentiment when a security guard asked her to move: “This team stinks for 10 years and I come to a game. They should be bowing at my feet.”

They wore game jerseys and tri-corner hats and watched from the west grandstand, observation deck and hospitality tent. It was a festive atmosphere with music and cornhole, and the concession stands sold hot dogs, cheeseburgers, quesadillas and tacos — another first for spring football.

According to “Our Lads,” eight of 22 starters are transfers, including Grant Jordan from Yale who’s penciled in to be the starter, and 6-foot-3, 256-pound Texas A&M transfer Keegan Andrews whose high spiraling punts were quite simply awesome.

Leeds native Dallas Elliott of the Williston Northampton School made the catch of the day, falling backward into the end zone with a defender in his face.

After the final whistle, the team went to midfield and saluted fans to the strains of the 1985 rock hit “Everybody Wants to Rule the World.”

Someone handed a microphone to Derrieon Craig, a junior linebacker from Fort Lauderdale, and he sprinted toward the grandstand and shouted, “We love you!”

UMass fans might finally have reason to love them back.

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UMass men’s basketball coach Frank Martin watched the spring game and chatted with fans near the north end zone.

“The values you have inside you are amazing,” said a woman with her husband who was wearing a Newport Gulls baseball shirt.

When someone mentioned NIL and the transfer portal, the Commonwealth’s highest paid employee said, “It’s all about money.”    

A reader had emailed me asking why nine of Martin’s players had left the team, and this was a chance to ask him in person.

No one will beat the stay-away-from-me sneer Jim Boeheim gave me in the Syracuse press box, but Martin clearly wasn’t happy to see me holding a notebook. “You’ve been staring in my ear for 10 minutes,” he said, miffed that I’d bother him on his personal time. “I’ve never seen you at a press conference or on Zoom.”

“I’m not a beat writer,” I explained. “I write a column and a reader wanted to know…”

“If you’d checked, you’d see 10 players from every team — 355 teams — went into the portal,” he answered.

He gave me his email address, patted me on the shoulder and said, “If you get to know me you might find I’m actually a pretty nice guy.”

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UMass hockey is losing four players who accounted for 60 of the team’s 133 goals, including sharpshooter Cole O’Hara. “He told me he was coming back all year long until the NCAA Tournament,” emailed coach Greg Carvel. “He then informed me that he was planning on signing.

“It’s hard when players leave sooner than you expect them to, but if they’re signing NHL contracts then we’re doing our jobs really well.”

Carvel said the team would reload just like it has in the past. “We’ll bring in three players from the transfer portal, ideally, and six freshmen forwards. That’s all we can do.”

UMass may have to rely on its blue liners. Defensemen Francesco Dell’Elce and Larry Keenan posted a plus-18 and plus-15, respectively. “Keenan was our most improved player from game 1 to game 40,” said Carvel.

Meanwhile UMass wants to shrink its ice surface to NHL dimensions, similar to UNH. “Our team is built to perform better on smaller sheets,” said Carvel.

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SQUIBBERS: The love-in has begun at Citi Field. On Tuesday, Francisco Lindor stepped out of the batter’s box so that the sold out crowd could finish singing the last words to “My Girl” which is Lindor’s walk-up song… Greenfield crooner and hardcore Celtics fan Garry Krinsky has reprised his 2008 hit “Cowboys of the Hardwood” to include last year’s NBA champions. “I added a slideshow and got 19,451 hits, but who’s counting,” said Krinsky. … Ralph from Manhattan to Richard Neer on WFAN: “These young folks, they don’t want to talk on the phone. If you get them on the phone for a conversation, they’re spooked.” … Bobby Coe of Canandaigua, N.Y. sent a photo of a 15-inch mullet lying on the sidewalk near his winter home in Bradenton, Fla. “Apparently it was too heavy for the osprey that caught it.” … Rangers outfielder Joc Pederson ended an 0-for41 hitless streak on Wednesday with a pinch hit double off A’s reliever Mason Miller. Former Oriole Chris Davis set the record in 2019 when he was 0-for-54. … Alex Verdugo is 6-for-22 (.273) with three doubles since the Braves called him up from Triple A Gwinnett Stripers. … Javier Reyes nearly broke Ian McCaw’s record for fastest getaway by a UMass chancellor by trying to get the West Virginia job. … Meaningless sports ticker stat of the month: “Home run by [Mark] Vientos was second of career on eight-pitch at bat.” … Wayne Gretzky on why he traveled with the Caps until Alex Ovechkin broke his record: “Because Gordie Howe was there for me.” … This is what it’s come to at Fenway Park, the hitter homers and dons a Wally the Green Monster mask to do high-fives. To paraphrase a New Yorker review: “The great sport of baseball, reduced for teeny tots with weeny minds.”

Chip Ainsworth is an award-winning columnist who has penned his observations about sports for decades in the Pioneer Valley. He can be reached at chipjet715@gmail.com