In past columns, I’ve explored and expressed the need to focus on important aspects of our lives such as patience, empathy, slowing down, curiosity, creativity, and intimacy. I want to add one to that list that matters much in this era of human history. Given:

■We are mostly extremely busy individuals with written or random “To-Do” lists

■Our capitalist culture demands that we purchase, then buy some more

■There’s often not enough to make ends meet smoothly

■Many of us are hurting and suffering for a vast number of differing, as well as common, reasons

■We feel pulled in too many different directions simultaneously

■We’re all trying to do more with less with the perception that there’s not enough to go around

Together, any two or three of these makes for a harried and hassled existence; taking four or more together puts real stress on our limited bodies and minds – we are imperfect beings after all. Our very human “condition” takes us on a daily and dynamic continuum between vulnerability and resiliency – all of which may be responsible for causing wide and sometimes unpredictable mood swings.

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In an over-taxed world and life, how is it possible to re-center and find a way toward some semblance of “middle ground,” wherein there is a balance between dichotomous elements such as work and play, solitude and sociability, activity and quietude, and the various and sometimes contending aspects of how we “use” time? There is no one answer, no singular solution, no particular panacea to this query. I believe we all have our struggles around time management, whether they be about procrastination, too many co-emergent crises, the multi-directional pulls of life, and self/other care. As a philosopher and performer friend often says, “it’s a ‘juggle’ out there …”

What’s become ever clearer as these stressful days fly by is that many of us could benefit from finding a way or ways to mitigate the pressure and learn to “stretch without stress” (this was my own self-selected mantra during the first two years of Covid). It’s amply evident that we could be helped by learning how to tame our parasympathetic nervous systems. There’s no formulation or equation out there that points to a specific way to re-balance ourselves and our energies.

By its evolving nature, our lives and the world-writ-large have become ever more complex.

In times of stress beyond stretch, what many of us could better utilize is the wisdom and patience to live with a greater sense of inner calm. This is the kind of “calm” that understands and accepts that life has its stress and stretch points, and that they generally don’t break but bend us; that “calm” is an inner-based activity emanating from our personal will to re-regulate our physical and emotional selves; and the kind of “calm” that enables us to capture our abilities to access and practice our own growing wisdom of inner intuition that “knows” what is best for us at any given moment.

This kind of calm allows for patience to receive meaningful responses from within, and from others on the “outside” whom we respect and trust. Often it comes from having one or more self-based activities that deflect and mitigate internalized pressure that builds up because we lack the confidence, competence, time, energy, or intellectual or physical prowess that is demanded of us each and every day.

Calm can come from learning how to departmentalize the challenges of the moment in deference to reconnecting with our wisdom-selves. This helps us to contradict our distress by using direct coping strategies. These techniques can range from simple breathing/focusing techniques to a backstretch or 20-second time-out to stand up and move around, to meditation, yoga, t’ai chi, or any other form of exercise and movement. Bringing the arts in close, such as singing, listening to music, drawing, painting, ceramics, sculpting, or cooking may also provide for greater calm.

In addition, debriefing our emotions with trusted others can help to off-load distress (this is content enough for another column entirely).

Whatever it may be, we humans have a limited attention and energy span. We know and feel this when we over-exert or exhaust ourselves and have too little left to move on to whatever may or might have been next in the chain of never-ending human doings. What may be equally important as knowing what we can do to minimize stress and distress is our ability to see it and know that a response is necessary. This is by and large not a skill we are taught at home or will have learned in school. Personal understanding and self-awareness are tools we have at our disposal yet often don’t get to practice in ways that feel emotionally and physically safe. Sometimes it’s obvious – we become dizzy or unfocused or light-headed. But, more often than is ideal, we plow ahead, overriding our body’s sometimes subtle early signals that we’re out of balance with ourselves.

Finding calm in a frenzied time is a cherished life-skill that can be refined through increased self-cognizance and a growing willingness to check in and reflect in a given and stressful moment, “What do I need and what will serve me best in this moment?” – then take the hint and find a meaningful activity that can rebalance your inner and outer energy. Personal restoration through calm is indeed one micro pathway to peace.

Daniel Cantor Yalowitz writes a regular column in the Recorder. A developmental and intercultural psychologist, he has facilitated change in many organizations and communities around the world. His two most recent books are “Journeying with Your Archetypes” and “Reflections on the Nature of Friendship.” Reach out to him at danielcyalowitz@gmail.com.