(Each Saturday, a faith leader in Franklin County offers a personal perspective in this space. To become part of this series, email religion@recorder.com)
My mother died suddenly of an aortic aneurysm at age 57, just one year after my father died of heart failure at 60. My two sisters, my brother and I were grief stricken. She was the center of our family, through whom we were connected to each other and in this great loss we feared we might drift apart.
That Christmas, we all got together and as we shared our mourning, we discovered that all of us siblings had been to the doctor on account of pain in our hearts. The doctors ruled out cardiac disease but observed that our recent losses could be causing those symptoms.
In the wake of Mom’s death, we struggled over funeral arrangements, disposing of possessions and how she was misdiagnosed. Again and again, we found ourselves turning to Mom’s spirit of love and kindness for guidance. Her abiding presence among us led us from discord to harmony, from anger and bitterness to acceptance and peace.
During our Christmas reunion, I got up early while other family members were sleeping. We were all scattered about my sister’s house but as I walked by each room, I had the curious sensation of all of our hearts beating together, as if there were just one heart connecting us. Since that time, I have had similar experiences — at concerts, sporting events, with friends and in groups — when I’ve felt what I call a Greater Life moving among us. I have been led to the conviction that there is a stream of life energy in which we live, not just with other human beings but also with other animals, plants, trees.
Just as our family has felt my mother’s heart at the center of our being, there seems to be a sacred heart that pulses throughout the Creation. Various religions give names to that Greater Life and Being in which we live and move and have our being. Perhaps the most common experience of knowing that power is when hearts call to one another in love, when boundaries dissolve, veils drop away and we feel the unity of our being. Who has not felt that happen in the presence of a baby, a loved one or a friend or stranger crying out for help?
There is a scientific dimension to this mystical calling of hearts. Far more than any part of the body, the heart puts out biomagnetic energy — as much as seven feet around the body. Feedback studies have shown that hearts actually seek to be attuned in their beats and will move into synchronization when the right conditions are provided. Those conditions are love, peace, joy, kindness and coherence. When the hearts of group or team members move into synchronization, there is a corresponding effect of better communication, kindness and cooperation.
As we gather in this season to celebrate the light and love that abides in the presence of darkness and division, we might reflect on the heart that beats within each one of us. None of us brought our heart to life. Its faithful beat continues as we sleep and as we carry out our wakeful activities. It is the place within us which holds our deepest emotions, our longing, our grief and our hope. It is the place of courage and love and generosity. Its very being connects us back to distant ancestors who, like us, labored and struggled to live good-heartedly in the face of the illness and death which life brings.
May we hear and feel our hearts call to one another in this season.
A resident of Greenfield, Ben Tousley serves as spiritual counselor for Cooley Dickinson Hospice, covering the Pioneer Valley. Ben is a longtime folksinger and storyteller who has recorded seven albums of original songs. He attends Mt. Toby Friends Meeting in Leverett.